Dinner and a movie??

Last night I got to enjoy a great meal and an even better conversation with Lipa, although I was doubtful at the start. I was feeling lazy because of the rain but I knew I couldn’t let Lipa down after how kind he has been to me during my stay in Kasane. So once the rain let up I put on my wet jeans and shoes, because I don’t have any other clothes (now that’s a major shock!) and I started my walk to town.

Walking in Botswana is always a big deal, everyone stares at me, which might not seem like a big thing but after 4 months of always being stared at and harassed as you walk down the street you get sick of greeting people and just wish to be a nobody on the street again.

I have said it before but men in Botswana make these walks the worst. The hello’s and how are you’s are fine but the where are you going I can take you there the fact that they try to grab my hand or arm so I have to slow down to talk makes me mad. I’d understand I’m a stranger in town but DAMN I’m not the interesting to look at and if I make it obvious I’m not interested why persist?

So my street harassment hit an all time high on my way to Lipa’s. It’s month end, Saturday and 5 o’clock and I have to walk past the bar not a great mix. I make it past the bar with much notice, but then it happens. Hello! … Hey! … HEY I’m TALKING TO YOU! … (I try to just keep walk) … I’m saying hello to you white girl! … (fuck leave me alone) … HEY YOU FAKE WHITE STOP I’M TALKING TO YOU… (Are you kidding me?) … HEY YOU FAKE WHITE! FAKE WHITE BITCH I’M…

I’m not sure for how long this man yelled at me as I continued to walk but I knew how much I wanted to say fuck off. I was mad to be bothered but even more offended by the fake white. Never in my life have I tried to claim my whiteness yet it is always thrown in my face. My skin tone, my hair, the way I speak (properly), my dress, mannerisms. All things that have been called white washed, not black enough. From all sides for my whole life, my race has made it so I can’t just be a nobody walking down the street. Everyone feels entitle to a say on my race and how I present it.

Coming to Botswana and being told for the first time in my life that not only to I “act” white but I am white. That I’m just as much as a lekoga as the other students on my trip was hard to understand and take on. The idea of race in Botswana is so different from in the states. Yet it was still clear that I was not white “white” has one of my host mothers put it. So still not enough. Still a rough spot in people schemes of race and assumptions.

As I continued to make my way to Lipa’s house I fumed internally about the injustice of it all. I’m a woman so I must want your catcalls. I am “white” so I must have money to give you. I’m a “colored” so I must think I am better than others. I’m an American so I must stand out. I am walking the streets so I must deal it the harassment. I must keep my muttering of asshole to myself because of what I am and where I am and the danger that the attention I must take comes with. I must smile and nod. I must say hello and understand your questions. I must take your judgment.

Judgment, race, politics, family, relationships, drama, dreams, education … Life

Lipa and I talked about it all our fish and movie night turned into and all night debate. I learned a lot and after months of not speaking much, observing a lot, it was so refreshing to free share ideas. Organic life talks. 

Last weekend in Kasane …PULA!

On my last Saturday in Kasane, I woke up early for our big CARACAL club boat trip. When the kids arrived they were all very excited and I was worried that there would be problems but for the first hour they were the best behaved I have ever saw them. And then the rain came… Real rain!

Although most of Botswana has had some good rains already up here in Kasane we have been waiting and praying for pula. We rushed to get the rain guards down and ended up soaked but it was amazing to be out on the water surrounded by hippos when the first rain hit. Once it clamed down we went up to the top of the boat and saw a herd of elephants crossing the river and playing in the fresh mud. If that’s not Africa for you then 35 school children singing different songs in Setswana on the ride back to port at the top of their lungs with white tourist in follow boats snapping pictures has to be!

It was great to see the kids enjoying and watching them point of the wildlife to me it really showed that they are learning a lot from the club. Its always amazing to watch kids enjoy a new opportunity.

Although the walk back to my house in the rain wasn’t as nice.

BAT

I have been in Kasane for almost two weeks now and as much as I am enjoying myself I can’ help but count down the days until I am back home. As much as I have experienced and learned from my time in Botswana the finally few weeks have really taught me how much the people in my life mean to me. Last night for example ... I was just sitting at home watching tv, alone (somehow my last homestay family has turned into me myself I and Lala, the huge guard dog) well I’m sitting at and then out of no where something big is flying for my face and I ain’t going to play it was a flash back to late nights back in Pomona when my brother and I would hit the deck when we heard bumps in the night. So bam my face hit the couch and I know it’s a bat but I try to trick myself into thinking its huge moth. But nope I hop up check all the rooms lock up the windows and doors and start to freak out. I’m not sure why I was so scared but I was and I had no one to call and no one to tell or laugh the over reaction off with. So ten minutes later when it flew back into the room I screamed and thought about the worst. THEN ten mintues later when it started crawling back into the room I told myself I had to put on my big girl panties on like my mom always says and I got the best trap I could, a old yogurt container.  Took a deep breath and caught that sucker! And proceeced to freak out again! Heartbeating I used my last bit of air time to call my friend who always helps me out with google the call dropped before I could get any advice. Yet, I realized a few things.

11)   I was freaking out because I was alone and I have been for a while

22)   The last time a bat flew at with I was with my whole family

33)   I would have never chicken out if I wasn’t alone  

44)   I’m in the bush and a bat is a little problem

55)   I miss home

Nov 9 What a wonderful first day

Today I had my first full day in Kasane and I couldn’t be more pleased with how it went. I am staying with a 25 year old woman named Mpho, she is the niece of Monica, the owner of the Lilly Lodge that I mentioned in an earlier blog. It is super rare to see anyone so young living alone let alone a woman, and I don’t have many details as to why this is the case but I have to say I’m looking forward to learning more about Mpho.  She normally stays at the lodge so I basically have the house to myself. However I am not alone, it might be my first day but I have made so many new “friends”. But before that CARCAL…

CARCAL it is a rare bush cat but it is also the non-profit wildlife conservation center that I will be working for my DISP. Although I don’t have a set ‘job’ or role, the team seems very open to letting me explore the wide options that they have.  Today for example after meeting very one and being showed around the office I met Ellen a recent grad and head of education section of the organization and we went with Rob the local scientist dude (not sure what his real title is) Maria the vet to a local primary school for a science fair. The students were 6-10 and so bright and adorable! (also their teacher is Rob’s girlfriend) After the fair Maria and Rob went to check out an Elephant that sadly had died and had anthrax! WILD

I also met Lipa, a volunteer and Motswana, who had be help him enter data on the different cases of diarrhea from local hospitals and clinics for the water health project, next week I will get to go out into the Chobe to help collect samples!

At 2:30 we made our way to Kasane primary for the weekly site visit for Ellen’s education programming. The children were not as well behaved as I expected or as interested in learning about “bush fires”, despite there being a wild bush fire going on as we spoke but it is the last three weeks of school in Botswana and Friday after school program is always going to be a little rough but I used more Setswana in that hour or so than I have in a while and I could tell the children enjoyed my efforts.

After more data entry, Ellen invited me to her regular Friday movie night with Rob and some of her other friends which I was very down for because Mpho works late and to be honest I haven’t spoken to people in a LONG time. Lipa kindly walked me home after work through a CEMEATRY, some things don’t change despite getting out of Maine. Shortly after Cora, a friend of Ellen’s came to pick me up and I glad an lovely dinner at the home of Rob’s girlfriend’s parents. As the rain and lighten rolled in they rolled out the Southern hospitality, despite living in Bots for a very long time they are still strongly Texans! It was different being with so many American’s and Brits but nice. I even got invited to Thanksgiving! Funny enough makes me miss the Matoin’s and their lovely daughter even more! haha

After dinner and a movie Cora drove me home spotting some elephants buffalo and a small wild cat on the road on our way back. I was a little worried that I was awkward and kicking myself for no offering to house sit for Cora when she asked but as I got out Cora asked “Do you play Volleyball?” Now I have an after work activity for Tuesdays and Thursday. 

I have more to share about what CARCAL is, my trip to MAUN, hitchhiking, my newly adopted religion, and applying for Jobs in NYC and considering Teach for America more seriously  ( most of which happened today) but I’m ready for bed and seeing that I have been sleeping in a tent with two boys and only a blanket in the Delta bush for the past week the four soft pillow are loudly calling my name.

Robala sentle!

On to the next one...

Today I start my next adventure in Botswana, after spending two weeks in Gaborone in a few moments I will set out on a 3 hour bus ride to Serowe for two days to visit the Khama Rhino Sanctuary and get in two more game drives! That means more exciting pictures! Then its a 4-5 hours bus ride to Maun for four days of camping and mokoro (boat) trip then I will catch one more bus and head up to Kasane for the rest of November. I will be working at the CARCAL non-profit organization that dose wildlife conservation and promotes education to the community and school children about coexisting with wildlife. I'm excited and nervous to start but I know it all going to be fun and a lot of learning with me done. Time is flying and I will be back in the states in just under five weeks!

I'm unsure of what my connection to the internet will be like in Kasane but I will be back with updates in December!

I miss and Love you all and thanks for reading my poorly managed and rarely updated blog!

-Z

Internship:

For my internship I was to volunteer at a local school, Lesopa Junior Secondary School, although it was not my first choice to be in the school I thought it could be fun working with the students and I obviously had experience doing such, but when I arrived it became clear that the school had no idea what to do with a volunteer and that I would not be interacting with many students or teachers. The majority of my first few days of work were me sitting in the back room of the computer lab while a teacher’s workshop was being held and I watched downloaded movies and provided some printing help now and again. When I asked if I could be better used some place else I was moved to the library to tackle to task of categorizing, labeling and covering a new shipment of books that looked to have been sitting around for months. I was pleased to have some work but the arrogant librarian watching me and sharing his “thoughts” with me made my work unpleasant and resent the fact I was doing his dirty work while he lifted no finger to help.

Returning again in hopes they had sorted out a classroom placement for me, I was given a weeks holiday since the school was breaking for the term and the national holiday. Although frustrated to be wasting time I knew that I needed to drop expectations and roll with the Botswana way. After the break and entering the third week of my four week internship I was introduced to the whole staff given the assignment of the math department and then put to work grading mock exams. Not exactly what I hoped for but it was something to do, when given the chance to monitor an exam I leaped from the exams were what had been keeping me from the students. When I entered the students paid me little mind took their test then interacted with each other but as the time neared the bell one female student grew brave and asked me a question, which lead to a rush of questions from the class and their circling around me to touch my hair and ask for hugs. Finally I had seen the children and I was asked to please return and teach their class for they had no teacher, which is what I kinda did in my last days but honestly it was mostly show and tell.

If you want to hear more you can read my final paper from Lobatse on my Internship… expect I just realized it is hand written and I don’t think I will have the chance to type it up until it is graded and I am 98% sure no one wants to read it. 

Lobatse

I arrived in Lobatse with renewed hoped that quickly disappeared. After the hour long bus ride and waiting outside of a “Hispanic” chicken place for a bit we met your mothers and we were on your ways. I had little worry in my head about losing my phone or being away from the boys because I new that I would have time to enjoy with my new family and going to my internship at the local school was to keep me busy. The first night was not bad although my homestay was clearly in the ghetto side of town WoodHall and our house was on the lot with the local rehab hostels that my host mother worked at limiting interactions with neighbors my mother was extremely welcoming and so very pleased to find that my Setswana name was Boitumelo for her own daughter’s named was Moitumelo (Mighty). However after this first night things got “interesting”. Read the blogs that follow to hear more! Tales of my internship, isolation, being insulted and very VERY frustrated at times.